Board 8 RAP BATTLE: tha LEAGUE 3 Week 2
The Second Week of the Board 8 RAP BATTLE: tha LEAGUE 3 Tournament. ''~Week 2~ Battle 1: Rusty vs. Minipooot ~The Score~ Rusty: 2 Minipooot: 14 ~The Raps~ Rusty take a word of advice poot, don’t let your raps be rushed since against the rap messiah, you’re gonna get crushed i spit out these rhymes, all my the critics get hushed you be heading for that wine so that your embarrassment gets flushed now that i’m going you won’t match my desire poot you looked burnt out, lemme ignite you with my inner fire you ain’t equipped to face me, head back to the shire this will end up as a blowout, forcing you to retire after this battle is over it’ll be rated r for too much gore getting your heart ripped out from being such a bore once my second verse hits, the voters will want some more cuz bitch you don’t even know what i have in store Minipooot Well my name may be Mini but the girls call me big They marvel at my tree trunk while they laugh at your twig I spew rhymes nastier than a fat prostitute's ass You spit lyrics so 'crappy' all I smell is gas This is the Space Jam, son, I hope you've come to play You're the Adam Morrison to my MJ I got more skills than Mershi's got gay I'm your God, bitch, get down and pray The only thing here gettin' flushed is you After I hack up your body and rip you a new One, gonna use your organs to make me a stew You'll have the honor of becoming my poo Rusty please let me introduce you to the life of psychedellica for as of right now your raps compare to new metallica get slipped the acid, you don’t know what you’ve been hit with only realizing now, you have no chance in hell against the sith you phasing out against my rap lines, too bad this only be the fifth you’ve uncovered reality, losing to rusty doesn’t seem like such a myth man there’s no reason for me to pick apart that rap cuz i’m not even willing enough to give you a dap so in my next line under, i’ll give ya’ll the recap since if i haven’t said yet, your rap got the clap may i ask you now, how’s this experience going with your mind in the dumps, you won’t match my plateauing Minipooot I'm reppin' some Metallica, cause I'm the only 'one' Who's master of the puppets and you're on strings, son Gimme fuel, give me fire, gonna burn you well done 'Cept I'll still be forgiven when I blast you with my gun Listen up bitch, this is the life I chose To become the supreme master of all that flows You're like French cinema, that's how it goes Down on your knees givin' 400 blows I'm a king among men, I'm Alexander's clone Gaze at me, peasant, as I rule upon my throne You ain't fit to be my jester, that much is known Now make like your namesake and give me a trombone Battle 2: Cokes vs. Yoshifan ~The Score~ Cokes: 13 Yoshifan: 0 ~The Raps~ Yoshifan Imma spit a verse that'll make you feel worse than ever before You'll be lyin' on the ground while the crowd yells for more You'll try to step it up, but like 2 Girls, 1 Cup You'll be eatin' all your raps, and be lookin' like a whore I'll pretend for a second you might really be a threat So I'll drop one little nugget; listen close, you shant forget Lemme whisper in your ear, c'mon, get even closer just like the greatest models you remembered as a poser Now Imma end my time, and my rhyme before I start a riot You're gonna try to get me back, 'cause you're whack, don't deny it, You may say you're Cherry, Cokes, But it seems that when provoked, You won't have a good comeback, 'cause it appears you're really Diet Cokes Only thing like two girls one cup is me shittin' in your face Any more rhymes like those, you can just go 'head and erase From this host's POV, you no-showed, gotta find you a replace I mean replacement, but back to buryin' you in ce-ment, tossin' you in the sea, then people wond'rin where Yo-shi went Years after your de-scent, get found on the bottom by sea-men They'll bust your concrete coffin like the wall in Berlin, wonder if you got your ass kicked by Duff McWhalen, see my name carved in your chest and throw you back in 'Cause you see, when you get this good, you get notorious Every line you write's gotta be meritorious Ruthless verbal murder, that's how to be victorious Yoshifan I keep you waiting keep you guessing worried right until the end then I come in here and bash you again an again an again un til you beg no more no more tears are screamin down your face then its pretty goddamn clear that I won this r-rap race You think I'll disappear that my friend is wishful thinkin cause the way i write the rhymes gets even the best drinkin even the best you can bring out is just a plink-a plink-a plinkin in the pail that is my skill take a minute let that sink in The hostess with the mostess is something you're clearly not because the hostess with the mostess would be able to spit hot you sir are fake like a robot a dark spot on this planot now watch as your comeback falls flat like some ugly dental rot Cokes Man that whole verse was completely incomprehensible Be sensible, your lines are utterly dispensable A showing like that is just simply reprehensible No offense man - your shit is indefensible Can't even tell what it is you've been trying to say I mean hey, what's the message that you're tryin' to convey? It sounds like a rap version of bad surrealism Word vomit on the page, a verbal cataclysm But that's enough respondin' to you, you really bore me I think I'm finally done guttin' you for the glory Battle 3: RollTheBones vs. Giggsalot ~The Score~ RollTheBones: 8 Giggsalot: 8 ~The Raps~ RollTheBones Wrapped up the first week by spittin’ raps without any mercy I’m the new Miami Heat, while you’re the Nets in New Jersey I spit eternal lines, my rap skills are divine and now y’all know it I got more internal rhymes than a girl who fucked a poet: See, underdog’s a role I thrive in, my star’s rising, yours is nose-diving I’ma leave Giggs broken, cryin’; top of my division’s where I’m arriving. I’m the main attraction, you’re an ugly distraction like that shirt of Ulti’s Your rhymes give no satisfaction, your raps are lackin’: heard of multis? Your weak little act’s exposed by my lyrical acid composed of empirical facts The miracles I spit explode like dynamite on my track of satirical attacks Illness is my mandate, you’re the epitome of being skill-less and man-dates Feel this? You can’t hate even a bit of me because I thrill this board’s fan base! Giggsalot Giggs stampede like oxen, unleash lyrical toxin Destroy your mind and body all at once, like chessboxin' In THA LEAGUE 2, your raps I slew - added you to my kill bank It's deja vu, I'm right on cue - Giggs knockin' Roll out like Miltank Yo Bones, you better take care, cos Giggs he never play fair I catch your sorry ass then stick you straight in the Day Care Straight murderous in the booth like you're pleading with Kiefer Sutherland All opponents this uncouth left bleeding red like the motherland Man your flow sucks and you know it, my win's already overdue Cos that girl that fucked a poet clearly passed right over you Yo I'm craved like Ulti's shirt while you flop like a sweat rag Giggs done saved the multiverse with an effortless "heh, fags" RollTheBones Professionalism? Man don’t make me sick – Not my fault you’re scared of chicks I go out at night to procreate with tricks, while Giggs raps poorly and sucks on shits Didn’t think such a fag would talk shit, I doubt those jokes you mustered pass As good lines, bitch, I’ll drag you to Auschwitz, choke you with mustard gas See, your head’s messed and delayed like you were nursed on a fault line G, your raps at best display that you’re simply the worst of all time Switchin between first and third person like an inconsistent Icon Bitch, I’m your worst nightmare when they choose to switch my mic on Pokepuns? You’re kidding me, childish rhymes confirm your loss unwittingly See the lines I’m spitting, G? See the genius these lines are transmitting here? I’m mature and hostile, you’re a baby that’s docile who forgot My signature style: “If you don’t know, now you know” Giggs fails – a lot. Giggsalot Man I don't care about whose wife you court or which dykes you take home Cos they unplugged your life support when they turned on my mic-ro-phone Yo, all that matters here's who's iller - that ain't got shit to do with hoes And with your chatter packed with filler, no question where these votes will go My rhymes are certified thriller, your transmission Lost like Rousseau's See I'm a bona fide killer, bitch - this real rap, not Art Nouveau Actually, this more like Dada; but who's your daddy ain't up for question Giggs rising up like intifada, but yo, this ain't no insurrection Cos it was always lookin' likely Roll would be the one facing ejection Battling Giggs is like boning chicks, man, you should always bring protection And while we're talking 'bout dicks, sorry if I killed your erection Cos after this two times six, seems Bones could use some resurrection. Battle 4: Menji vs. Justin Crossing ~The Score~ Menji: 8 Justin Crossing: 3 ~The Raps~ Justin Crossing Your mouth gets fuckin massive when you got somethin to speak Claiming it's undeniable, untryable, when crap flies out your beak Your claims are plain unrealistic, so here I'll be your skeptic Promises you make are never held, even when they're not cryptic So here I stand and make a powerhouse claim Whatever you throw at me will be a spark compared to my flame Truth pounds the chest with more strength than a lie So I'll crush your lungs with what you too often deny Maybe you'll see the truth, the reality that you lack Oh who am I kidding, your mentality is on crack So I'm here to defeat you, destroy you, once and for all To decimate you, demolish you, and witness your fall Menji I’ll tell you something funny about alliterations, clown Try for three words, not two and you might receive my crown As my mother did, are you picking up what I’m putting down? You are a boy excelling in my game, the Rookie of the Year Momma Lied Saying you be ready for the League - Premier Your shame’s showing son, no need to paint your face red You a fan to me try to blow past when going head-to-head strike-you-out of this thread and jump twenty votes ahead JC, you were saved by the Taco Bell, now please resign Clean yourself up while I sweep and then we might dine You could eat but your weak rhymes left you savage, macho This rap battle is now between a taco and a burrito, nacho Justin Crossing I feel bad for your mother, you torturous wretch Forcing her to clean up all that crap, endlessly playing fetch And even worse for her now she'll have to clean the bloodstains Since I'm about to punish you with fuck that's inhumane You might want to get your crappy math straight Pull out a calculator while I prepare your fate One home-run strike doesn't put you twenty ahead But once I've severed your head, you'll be 100% dead And a taco and burrito? Then who are you fighting now? If I'm a nacho, then you're not fighting me, but minced cow You've left me a spot to go Solid Snake on your rhymes Next time you throw out stuff, check in between the lines Menji Your rhyming has tortured me long enough But I am tough, THE diamond in the rough Consider me Big Boss, cloned for my genius Leaving you as Solid Snake - no penis Pull out your calculator while I do it in my head The chance is still 0% that you’d get any in bed We are in my universe bitch, didn’t you check-in? ‘Cause you got a nasty itch, leaving you with chagrin Don’t worry we can’t see, like a kid without his glasses Get you fixed up by three, just in time for your classes In creative writing with the asses - nacho metaphors “not you” – but me, the masses chose mine, not yours Battle 5: Warning Crazy vs. Alec ~The Score~ Warning Crazy: 0 Alec: 15 ~The Raps~ Warning Crazy ughhh i dont really feel like writing this now but i guess if your in for a penny your in for a pound i'm probably not gonna win this week or any and the votes i get are not gonna be many you may view this as a flatout concession but its really more of a warm-up session I got placed in the hardest divison and it got even more hard my performance is gonna be worse than that in the world cup of steven gerrard (<3) i view this as a sort of learning experience not sure if i'll come back next year, i'm on the fence responses are easier than going first but this rap surely cant be the very worst Alec You’re just a pest, a mosquito, should have stayed incognito Should be replaced on the spot by Cokes’ executive veto Take it from me, self-hating’s a really bad tactic So let me school you in my purest didactic You either got talent or you don’t, and if that’s all you can muster Your rhymes got no luster, so don’t waste my time with filibuster You’re like a kids with no hands, you just can’t pick it up I almost feel guilty like I’m kicking a pup Warning’s set on a journey, on his lyrical hadj Cuz handys are dandy but this kid needs some vag But if he loves like he raps, it’ll be a long time coming, almost numbing Lemme call up your girl, at least then someone’ll check her plumbing Warning Crazy Well first off bro I get laid several times a day projecting your lack of success onto me, i'd say but now lets get on to a real important matter a rap so fucking bad, it made me empty my bladder you have the fucking balls to suggest i quit after you wrote something that showed no thought and no wit you said you were just freestyling and generally being a clown but i think you wrote what you saw after taking a shit and looking down i mean honestly what you wrote was so bad it would even make ed bellis or palmer mad if you said your rap out loud it would cause the death of even mutes you might wanna go back to making duct tape flowers and suits Alec Everybody place your bets, head to the nearest casino Crazy's gettin' slaughtered so bad it'd sicken Tarantino Saw you tried to step it up, but it sounds just the same, its a shame Better get moving to Denver, only way you'll elevate your game You're the additive identity, you're only a zero, I'm a superhero With all my lines super effective, like I'm Pikachu, you're Fearow It's clear you're a contract that Cokes had best not renew If Van Gogh heard you rap he'd think he cut one ear too few You contest my evaluation of your lacking creation But your rap's got no balls like it suffered castration If your rhymes were a fetus they would face termination Best give China your raps, they'll control population Battle 6: Biolizard vs. Seg ~The Score~ Biolizard: 0 Seg: 13 ~The Raps~ Biolizard Winged was a no show, surely he will not be missed Ain't a thing that punk could've done to prepare you for this I'm not like the others, compensating with loquaciousness I spit my rhymes, getting by solely on my bodaciousness Turn around now, boy, I'm not something you can handle My lyrics are made for records while you're bound for Disney Channel Like all other pretenders, little boys amongst men Take your hopes and crush them, again and again and again You were hoping for a sweet dream, I brought you a nightmare when I'm beating you down, you'll be crying it's not fair You thought you had a chance, and I feel bad for you, son This league has got talent, but you got none Seg A shame Bio's main multi's been the same word thrice, it's sinnin again I'm unshook, heard tighter hooks laid by mice and mennen I'll be soakin in this win, leave you a broken lizard in club dread invoke wizardry to scissor thee, the sharpest tool in your final shed cuz I write guide lines and rule this dome, I'm known as the pro-to-call so don't cry and whine like a fool since I've exposed your flow's devolved it shows no development like the mall's instant photo stall and places "lol" on fellow men's faces who accordingly vote yo fall yo there's novels about my organ titled "Nothing Shy Of Ten" meanwhile your entire bio is accompanied by violin my shit's a hefty mashup like Joe Walsh plus Keanu Reeves blowin up like I can't drive fifty-five in the movie Speed Biolizard I come up to the mic, deliver to ya'll a ballad Seggy's turn, nervous, he throws up this word salad Oblivious to the gibberish he spits in his fear Best forget about your phobia, cause you're already here These lyrics come natural, every moment an epiphany Your organ is impotent, my violin part of this symphony We could've rapped like gentlemen, but you're style's too crass Beats so ugly, Rice Krispies wouldn't talk to your ass So refined it's hard to find, I redefine the genre They ask me for my best, and I always give 'em extra Read all about it, my skills are stuff of legends Don't bother looking for yourself, cause ain't worth a mention Seg Well the balladry's as valid and as fly as flightless wings a celly's melody and the beat is worse than rodney king's god, he sings to me so my rap's narrated by morgan freeman and yes the organ's loaded get girls stoned with gorgon semen dreamin ice cream I need to eat b-lizard, ordain no mo posin but he'd give me mad writers block, with this great brain so frozen gotta fight this clock, sorta cuttin it close but no worries B, I'm sure he's pre-occ with nuttin on gross furries unleash the furies, judge that blurry line of sexual neurosis bio gets the closest with doses of phallic halitosis because liz and his boy say no homo though both know those drawers gon go low and both blow so he gets the most flow Battle 7: Boko vs. fetusbucketeer ~The Score~ Boko: 6 fetusbucketeer: 2 ~The Raps~ Boko it's that bok-bok to the show, and everyone agrees i got niagra flow, and your lyrics is bees get on your knees - for we all know what i'm planning throwing tee-dees like drew brees, you're tossing picks like peyton manning high up in trees, you're buried six feet underground i'm a gengar in this battle, you're a jiggly usin' pound. but i'll appease - for i can run this court with ease you're like shaq missin' your frees, while my skill's are like kobe's. so i ask please: try and take your chance to flee throwin' underhand at me, but i pitch like i'm cliff lee an MVP, being the best is my disease you're a nothing 'round these parts, bein' shunned like the furries. fetusbucketeer fetus-specific, shmetus-specific; son your rap read like a herd of goats, bleaters, specifically fainting goats, you know the kind that pass out when you scare them? See, to me that's you Boko - your rhymes seem impaired - and I gotta be honest - is this even fair? If Boko were stubble then I would be Nair; disintegration, disappearance - no five-o-clock shadow here - I understand you have to see a doctor wait for what? A pap smear? I just called you a woman so now I feel tough, like I can break through some walls or fuck Hilary Duff in every last hole if she'd let me or not, actually only if she'd let me - I don't get all hot and bothered over thinking of rapes, only raps and I gotta tell ya your rhymes? That shit's wack. But hey man, don't despair, I mean you have a rebuttal! But now I'm done so I'm gonna stop by your mom's house to cuddle. Boko not even in my league, you can't consider us foes words that cause me no fatigue, you can't tell snakes from dildos. now i'll expose - your flow just doesn't make sense a glass cannon sans attacks, you just have no defense there's no suspense - for we all know how this ends you ARE alone here now and i'm fighting for my friends but let's pretend - believe you ever had a chance gonna take a ton of shooting stars to match up with my trance. and i'll advance - you're just another steppin' stone i'm a fleet of mass carriers against a single drone that's in the zone - your lyrics make me yawn i'm geared up to take you on, you need additional pylons. fetusbucketeer Boko more like choke-o LOL your last rap sucked It had it's good points (just the Starcraft) but in the end I'm just abduct ing that little victory I'm sure you thought you'd handily procure, but now you're done and I'm just starting so let's see where we end up. If this were real, in living color, I would see you think you're fucked I think you're timid, slightly worried that this Peon might construct a fucking Fortress from the get-go - now you see I'm not demure - Hell, add a Bestiary - why not? - I'm spitting Liquid Fire, pup. Blah blah blah blah this is pointless - do I really need to rhyme? It's in the bag, you have no chance you might as well just make your time I have to tell you one last thing before it's finally time to go - that your mother's great in bed and now your sister wants a throw. Battle 8: Digi vs. Ed Bellis ~The Score~ Ed Bellis: 10 Digi: 8 ~The Raps~ Digi Well my rappin’ opponent is Bellis, tried and true Up against Digi of the late night crew But I’ve got a question if you can refresh my memory, Ed In your raps last year what was it that you said? Somethin about trumpets and horns for King Bellis, almighty The only song I’m hearing is Taps, you goin’ nighty nighty That’s right, I used the word nighty in a rap battle, son I’ve got 99 problems and that line ain’t one of ‘em Your rappin’ ability don’t count as one either Battling you after Rusty is like I’m takin a breather You were picked as the favorite to win this division But I’m calling upset at the hands of DigitalIncision. Ed Bellis I'll digitally incise you with internet-filled blades Left more broken hearts behind me than fifteen Queens of Spades Gonna own you then disown you like a game from Play and Trades I'm kingly for a reason and stately for all times Can be fiercer than a lion or more soothing than bell chimes But right now you're in the jungle, gonna maul you with these rhymes You're about to play a song for me but buddy, it ain't Taps It's a victory epiphany called “Bellis, God of Raps” Get lost, go home, you're done, you moan, forgettable like B*A*P*S And every bit as useful as a wise old popa sloth If rhymes were ice you couldn't keep your water cold on Hoth A feeble, broken gangsta – bolded 'Hymen,' not the 'Roth.' Digi You can break hearts all day while I’m cracking skulls see Choosing instead to slay, you’re waxxin’ metaphorically You packin’ ‘internet filled blades’, I’m strappin cold heat My rappin is ‘perfectly ill grade’, yours are lackin bold beats I’m a flow-spittin’ veteran, your raps have no foundation My lines are embedded in the minds of the population. You didn’t leave a trail of broken hearts, your raps never follow through Your raps are nothin to my spoken arts, your momma shoulda swallowed you. My rhymes flow fast, spit sickly like a veritable maelstrom Yo prime is so past, commit quickly to takin a charitable male’s cum So pop up from the top again, write about your fictional victory epiphany I’ll mop up in the votes again and spit your epitaph with my lyrical symphony. Ed Bellis Crack Skulls if you must, I'll still Crush you to Dust I should've been swallowed? Bitch, you should've been flushed Rhymes like mush, need a brush with a lyrical thrust Ed's upper crust touch makes them shudder and hush They're like Starsky and Hutch, rhymes and rhythms, and plus All new sounds and shenanigans – Ed's just too much For busted up hustlers like Digi, so shush Cuz I strut limousines while you ride the short bus You get nervous and blush but I'm naught but nonplussed I'm a hot antitrust, split you up without fuss Then assimilate you like hip-hop's own Anschluss Where does Digi begin and the fail end? Discuss. Battle 9: foolmo vs. Pats D ~The Score~ foolmo: 2 Pats D: 6 ~The Raps~ foolmo That last round was more pathetic than it should have been But I can't complain when Cokes YET AGAIN hands me another sure-win From rhode island? Man, I'm crying, you sure take small to extremes You sure like sports, I'll keep this short, like Giants crushing your dreams Can't block my offense, shock my defense, and you sure can't score Only touchdown you will get is when your face hits the floor Need not display instant replay to accept MY perfection Your future's bleak, you're far too weak, not fit for this Division You're just a little kid, too scared to step out the door No need to fear or shed a tear, you're what handicaps are for Your Dynasty is history, no kingdom compares to mine So take your time, think up a rhyme, I'm sure that I'll be fine Pats D I'm from Rhody? More liek Mass. That's retahded homie. You make me laugh Will he or won't he whip my ass? Does this big jabroni think he can last? I get a little restless from uneducated references This temporary desperateness just shows why you're inept at this I also think the lesson is that I am just the best at this So get your Smith n Wesson I'm just guessin' you invest in it. You seem like the kinda dweeb who'd need to pack some kinda heat But since I am a black belt I'm fine with using mine-a feet And hands. I got a horse stance and it's kinda neat You gotta understand that your punkass is mine to beat. My lines are platinum, derrr. Yours are a batch of turds. Go back to macaroni gluing 'till you craft a verse. foolmo You're all talk, ain't that good in a word fight? Nah, they're just dreams Half those lines written by your moms to raise your self-esteem No one buys that crap any more than they buy her late night services Pretend all you wish, but I see the bitch deep down below your surfaces You wanna be fast and strong, don't get me wrong, you're nowhere near the best Smart as ctes, classy just like sess, legit as the gamefaqs ToS You bring fists to a battle of words, that's fine Get out of your bore stance, you're making me snore stance, come at me any time What's a black belt when your sensei is just a box of Trix? Don't need guns when I got this lyrical jutsu at my fingertips I'll knock you down so hard you'll be molecularly bonded to the ground, make no more sound, the voters will thank me for what I did Pats D What's up with all the sass man, your ass sounds like a comic book You're gonna make me vomit, look, your lines are full of grime and soot Musta thought about your verse shorter than the time it took For me to see yo momma's looks and monge on her vagina guk But keep ya head up; you're like the kettle Callin' the pot black n got smacked the hellup If I was a horse I wouldn't trot I would gallop But enough with the metaphors its better for your mettle If I don't make you get too mental; you'd need a rental Cop to try and stop me and I'll still be like "bitch, settle Down and take off that frown. I'm taking you to town. Call me buddy when you fake your way into the next round. Battle 10: Wigs vs. sonicblastpunch ~The Score~ Wigs: 0 sonicblastpunch: 13 ~The Raps~ Wigs Take this to the hole SBP, here comes the Wigs phenomenal But you playin' with a Bob-omb see, and my sport's called Bomb-sketball Wrote off Anri with a yawn and chuckle, I'll make sure yo Pressure will buckle Your rap's ghostly n' begone like Knuckles, I'm flowin' harder than Shellder or Shuckle Goin' against me is a plan doomed to fail, fellin' you in a state catatonic My flow's like epic Beowulfian Tales, yours'll make me chuckle (much like Sonic) Now they say I be illin' and yer just a fill-in, so let me be elaborate that I'll be killin' To hear the sound of you be trillin', as you no longer willin' to produce any chill'en Ride you over the Moon like ET as my force demolishes, my power unleashes Like in that movie smoosh you like candy, you're the M&Ms to my Reese's Pieces It's not like you planned , or understand, why Imma crushed you like glass to sand So I'll take command, put you on the stand, you'll melt on the spot AND in my hands sonicblastpunch performances like that just serve to warn all other rappers hence: don't mash two lines together if neither one makes a lick of sense you dream of being fearsome like you're final kefka, dancing mad but you're just stringing nonsense rhymes together like a fancy lad and like a rash your whole routine is aggravating, ugly, blotchy your attempts at wit are sadder than the great clown pagliacci and your flow is so morose you'll hide 'til monday out of shame the only fan you've ever had's the one you added to your name and even he's voting for me, that's how hard you're detested -- you exposed yourself so much mel gibson said you should be gang molested can't present yourself well and you just couldn't disprove this: our boardmates call you 'gums' because you're absolutely toothless Wigs It's a simple algorithm, you just gotta postulate Strugglin' with your mission, so allow me to facilitate A swamp's your putrid rhythm and mine's here to inundate Mine's smooth and driven, your stagnancy coagulates I'm not that Paggli-stuff, boy you must be clownin' Ain't gettin giggly or guff, cuz your shit leave me frownin' They call me Shiggy-tough, like I'm scalin Death Mountain Cuz like a Jigglypuff, it's your ass I'll be poundin' Your rap's with poor complexion, so avoid its stale affliction Can't get by crap detection, you're facin' dereliction Need earmuffs for sound protection, ears goin' through crucifixion I'll belt out an Objection for your auditory contradiction sonicblastpunch your flowery prose was apropos from just another shrinking violet barely even turbulence worthy of leaving autopilot crushed against my atmospheric pressure, couldn't stand the weather still got yarn around your head from trying to string two thoughts together desperate to make number one but your ichi is scratchy i'm the 1080p hi-def to your cheap ten-inch hitachi 'cause your style's outdated garbage and the scrap heap is your next address you're like evade in ff3/6j -- totally meaningless and like a kiddie pool at night you're not real bright and not real deep you called yourself a jigglypuff and put the audience to sleep the crowd demanded sugar and you dropped a load of aspartame when no one choo-choo-chooses you, you'll only have yourself to blame Battle 11: MysteriousStan vs. swordsman12 ~The Score~ MysteriousStan: 0 swordsman12: 12 ~The Raps~ MysteriousStan Well Week One went to Giggs Still word is “You’re gonna go far kid.” But now I’ve got to open Cross ya fingers, here’s hopin’ So swordsman are ya a king or a phony With an overblown ego like those guys at Sony? Can you fling a string of words so pristine that angels sing? While the other guy in the ring can’t say a thing – ding ding. Let me venture a guess and say ya can’t and ya not. Sayin’ you’re hot while the crowd’s going dot dot dot. From what I’ve seen, you’re average, how did ya manage? Best give up now, I’ve got the Weapon Triangle Advantage. swordsman12 Had a close first round but this aint the sequel Downed a Breakfast of Champions cause I know I won’t be equaled My lines bind your digits like Cat’s Cradle, Ice 9 you and leave ya frozen to the table Begging “please sir” for more but I just smack you with the ladle Raise the alarm, wail the Sirens of Titan, I came to smash this battle ‘fore we started fightin’ Call me Mother Night when you black out, never be enlightened Slice you into pieces, now you’re the Slaughterhouse 5 Your pulse decreases as you cease to be alive You call me egotistical then shit a verse that’s oh-so-typical cause my lines are goddamn mystical and yours are simply trivial Ran with the best and I’ve earned wins, I deserve this I couldn’t lose this battle if I threw this shit on purpose MysteriousStan Now Vonnegut is nice but Bradbury is best I’m not impressed, this win is mine, no contest. swordsman 12 - a king - guess not, just some mercenary unknown Figures cause - I didn’t see him pull the sword from the stone. You’re words - bluster, mine - like the good Reverend Jesse Custer’s Remember the cow from last night - guess who made ya fuck her? Now I see ya mustered a cluster of cash to hire a good adjuster Well I’ll be over here listening to “Two Points for Honesty” by Guster. But don’t look so glum, chum, all ya have to do is succumb Feel the drum of your heart (bum-bum) as it slowly goes numb Become dust as you crumble, should have listened to your thumb Cause now you know - something wicked has this way come. swordsman12 My first verse was auspicious but now it’s time I got vicious Put you on then cross you off my shit list cause I win this I didn’t have to pull the sword from the stone Beat Arthur in a battle, took his weapon and his throne These bitches scream and they moan, “please, leave him alone!” But now he’s broken every bone and crying to atone Damn I’m in the zone, pop *****s like frat bro collars While you’re out getting blown by fat hoes for dollars Play a tiny violin and lemme twist this fo yo sorrows I get high before I wreck you, call me kill-a-man-jaro You just don’t have the wit kid so say your last prayer You might be wicked but beware, I’m your worst nightmare Battle 12: Chrono1219 vs. Realo ~The Score~ Chrono1219: 0 Realo: 15 ~The Raps~ Chrono1219 Scopes on Realo and he's got no clue. Crosshair's, face right there, gonna be a through and through. Charging up, get ready for a light show. Lighting your mind. Record and rewind, replay in slow mo. Firing Lasers, do your barrel roll. Bright lights but your no super star. Got caught in a fire fight, but your not a hometown hero. Hold tight but your not making love. Last thing in your sight, a bullet that made a big hole. Crashing down, prepare for a trip below. Flashing, your life. Devil or Divine, decides where you go. Expiring heart beat, no hope for your soul. Realo I'm a Spacey fan always makin references to Se7en I'll blow us the hell up---Just to see if the Devil can make it into Heaven The Altar of Nine awaits the Divine, but there's no truth in ya stance It's a Dark Brother's Hood--You don't stand a Lucien LeChance So remember: When you see my Black Hand with a sword-in-it Runnin through your house with a black hood on... you ordered it You treated this rap battle like a joke...a game.. a tournament So I'm treating you to Christmas time..hang you from a tree...ornament I'm done with this clown, I'm serious---bored of it Your Alliance couldn't have failed worse---I'm for the Hordin' it. Truly, I'm now preparin for duty Gun to the back of your skull---now you're a true American Beauty Chrono1219 See someone talking about fatality. Hide your face, you disgrace, to humanity. Think I'm crazy, you're a step below insanity. Here's a taste, just in case, you get wounded mortally. Check in the closet, check under the bed. Be sure you're not losing it and it's all in your head. Lock down the windows, lock up the doors. Be sure I'm not coming to see that you'll end up dead. You might not fear the reaper, you might not fear the beast. But Chrono's gonna put you into eternal sleep. Something inside your dreams, controlling you, it can't be tamed. Monster inside of me, destroying you, our claims to fame. Realo This kid doesn't get it, he rhymed Fatality with... mortally? I'll cut a hole in your chest and send you into the next dimension...Portal-ly I'm chortling---you rapping about head shots...go figure You can't even shoot your mouth off, you're Chrono without a Trigger It's clear that I'm Bigger---Boi, Chico Dusty, your my little son Leftfoot--- You're left shook by this leftfoot, giving you brain damage like Rusty Trust me, while your momma just called you husky You're fat and you can't score....just like Nebraskan Huskies I'm a Siberian Huskie, you're a BFUCK named Sasha It's ironic, cuz when other girls see your weiner they say "HaHa" So Pac Man, when you all you see is red dots, imma make ya head pop I'm bouncin ya verses off the rope, this a lyrical HULKAMANIA leg drop Battle 13: Mer vs. BBallman7 ~The Score~ Mer: 5 BBallman7: 12 ~The Raps~ Mer Once I get started, can't stop, call me Pringles, Your rhymes sound rocky, where the fuck is Bullwinkle? Map it out like Tingle, flyer than a Wingull, Don't question my shit cause I deliver, Chris Cringle, Claimed my first victim but I got screwed over, Gave the win to Alec? Think we need some new voters, Comin' over, Rover, you're runnin' like motors, think I'm done cookin' but that shit was just hors d'oeuvres, Who the fuck's callin'? You'll never B Ballin', B8's my dictatorship, call me Jo Stalin, I'll kill your ass and be on tothe next life, You'll be pushin' daisies like Donald Duck's sex life BBallman7 Yo homey, I think you don't know me, I drop mad bombs and you're a one trick pony, You're phony, I'd tell you to blow me but you probably wish this, So I'll just add you to my hit list and end your sad existence, I'm not B Ballin' I'm malicious, each attack is vicious, Enjoy be chips bitch, you're leaving this winless. I'll kill you cuz it's fun, and just be glad to spite you, And to my head put a gun to fuck up your afterlife too, Could beat you with a haiku, your double digit IQ Means you're gonna lose cuz beating fools is what I do. And outside of board 8, I'm getting all of the ladies, Rapping's not your forte, go back to swallowin' babies. Mer What I'd give to slay someone with more to say besides tired ass jokes about "derp, you're gay", with verbal fisticuffs, they can't get enough, Cause my rhymes are even harder than the dicks I suck, You can call me the vandal, shootin' like Scandal, BANG BANG! I go to the top like candles, You think you're hard, man? I can go harder, Have your ass runnin' like I threw the garter, In your system like a tumor with my sense of humor, I ask 'em who da best, everybody say "You, Mer!" B8's Jay-Z, they say I'm so crazy, Then I pass a bitch up like "HI I'M DAISY!" BBallman7 I'm known to be ruthless, at rap you're newish, This is my lake, and you're the new fish, Hate to call you useless, but if the shoe fits, You couldn't beat Hitler if the judge was Jewish. Excuseless and toothless I'll use your bones as toothpicks, Cut off your legs, and walk around in my new kicks. You used to have some fans, it seems you've lost your charm, They said Mer might have a chance, but that was a false alarm. With my last lines gonna stab your eyes, are you satisfied? Just imagine how fast you'd die if I thought I had to try. You can't phase me, I'm used to hurdling boulders, And in the words of Jay-Z, I'll brush that Mer off my shoulders. Battle 14: Curt vs. Dilated Chemist ~The Score~ Curt: 14 Dilated Chemist: 12 ~The Raps~ Curt Pay attention cuz this radioactive attack is attractive ascention the goal won't let it go as this track is enacted like no other you spit flow and there's prattle 'wow, a prose' I got mer though so no hope for you if this battle comes to blows it's time for my scheme to blow up with my rhyming might a sublime chime as your head explodes with each punch, dynamite! a site is my catalyst for this chain reaction, but you're the chemist maybe you missed the composition for this fission; you've been apprenticed could have been a doctor or dentist, christ, you've got no chemistry with words should have me as a proctor, watch as I slice you with diction in three thirds 'n I'll massacre your whole city bitch, yeah cuz I'm so shiten ill your ride? a buck fitty, 'rich*', call me a shiten coup de ville. Dilated Chemist Before I unleash the beast in me, here's one thing that you need to read. Difference between me & C? He's illiterate - I write ILL literacy! My Optimus Prime rhymes are here to best your dull raps. I'll swoop and kill your Coup De Ville with my Energon Axe! Get the facts straight, bitch - you don't stand a chance against greatness. All the hype you made for this and not one amazingly great diss?! Mister B. atleast put effort in his last verses and tried to fight for --- ---Wait, that Lizard be the last person you lost to... yeah, cry more! I'm down to four lines, got your rhymes to get some notable laughter. Dawg, you couldn't get radio active in the Chernobyl Disaster! I've mastered the rap pen, you lack the finesse to compete or test. My lyrical sickness, I'll leave you win-less - your texts are weak at best! Curt You look shook after that weak shit waiting for my next hook I spit hard rhymes, like you got hit with lines written in a text book. Optimus died last time, didn’t he? Couldn’t be much. Like a Rodimus Prime imprint I’ve got the touch. But I’ll agree that this emcee drops ill literacy Still feel queasy see from the words I was forced to read. A killing sprees what this’ll be ‘n nobody can protect him. Yeah I’ll wreck ‘em leavin’ this rap to explode up in his rectum. Your ‘lyrical sickness’ works if your listeners are schizophrenic, This board’s sick mess, like Oskana to Mel their affection’s synthetic. It’s dramatic how emphatic –ly this spree led you 6 feet beneath, The ground. When he was found DC needed to fix more than two teeth. Dilated Chemist The worst rappers and authors could show this moron who's who. Your verse is all hype, then disappointment - like porn on youtube! This chicken bleeds cordon bleu juice while DC is the God emcee. You can go stick this up your ass - like your practicin' sodomy! My fans aren't liars, I'm flawless. I'm sure to prevail in this fight. My hooks will wire your jaw, bitch - like an oral surveillance device! I'm sure my rhymes will suffice, I'm just too nice when I write. You're like the Washington Wizards - you're just not right with the mic! I'll have you sacked and tied in front of an audience as big as half this site. And the crowd will be askin' "Why did he agree to a public sacrifice?" Your life came at a price, but admit it - it was my flow you borrowed. But it doesn't matter, you're through - this one's FO YO SORROWS! Battle 15: Aeon Azuran vs. jdizzy ~The Score~ Aeon Azuran: 7 jdizzy: 2 ~The Raps~ jdizzy I put it on my grandfathers daughter I will not become a martyer I will fight til the end like a real man oughta But this is the genisis and I refuse to fall my light shines so bright it blinds, i guess that makes you Saul. my References are biblical, rhyme scemes divine My win will be called a miricle, a sigh of end times But I say it been preordaned like the coming of christ And imma knock yo ass out david and golith' My psalms are filled wit proverbs Can you get the revelation? beat you so bad you'll be screaming lamatations yo days are numbered sucka count em off in your head And your name aint jesus so you gon stay dead. Aeon Azuran Your rap’s Apocryphal but there’s some truth in what you say It does take a miracle to outflow Double A But I see no angelic choir here to mark your ascent It’s only brimstone and fire ‘cause I’m goin’ Old Testament. For you it’s 40 years of exodus with no safe harbor You’re gonna suffer like Samson after a trip to the barber There’s gonna be eight nights of agony, light your menorah But don’t look back while I attack: Lot’s wife did that in the Torah And when I’m through with you it’ll be part 2 of Sodom and Gomorrah. So pay attention Daniel, now you’re in the lion’s den In this trial you’re the baby and I’m King Solomon -- You’ll land in pieces on the altar while they’re prayin’ '''AMEN' jdizzy Holy Trinity, and Im ya father son I would ghost ya ass but really it be to bothersome You kinda like a reverse Joseph, cant beat me in your dreams plus you lack originality, gotta steal other ****** themes They say all dogs go to heaven, Is that why you such a bitch? Sit yo ass down-wait do you even know that trick? Im tired of picking up yo shit, you puppy bitch, down boy mangle you so bad they'll have to go and put you down boy Chew you like a chew toy, spit you out like tabacco All yo lines are mild mine are hot like tabasco or more like a Habanero, nah i guess im off the scale Either way compared to you im like the fires of hell Aeon Azuran Your lyrics make less sense than “are we human or dancer” If I were tobacco I’d avoid your mouth like cancer ‘Cuz when you spit you leak dross, you’re no tabasco just weaksauce Your weight bends wood so I’ll crucify you on an oblique cross Anyday of the week I’m worth twice as much as you So when you’re gone this trinity will be reduced to two Like Cain you’re not able to escape from your fate Like Jonah on a whale watch, you’ve made a huge mistake And abandoning the biblical for the pet owner? You sunk so low with that rap I think hell froze over. Accuse me of stealin’ themes, where’s your originality? Guess jdizzy’s just to busy jizzin’ in his hand to write, isn’t he? Battle 16: ExThaNemesis vs. Forceful Dragon ~The Score~ ExThaNemesis: Forceful Dragon: DQ ~The Raps~ ExThaNemesis Let's put some heart attack fear in this partly whack lyricist. Think I said part whack coz the other part's queer? It is. The only thing clear is this: Your fate you can't alter, boy. So I'm bout to fulfil yer dreams and make you my altar boy. Your words, they so fraud that you got no bid'ness verse me. I'll prove there's no God, you'll pray "ExTha HAVE MERCY" This a notice to FD and the rest, I rock and you ALL blow. I have to slow down what I spit, so you can digest what you swallowed. Two battles this week, and I'm not done at all, no. Just shot Wigs down, now Forceful will follow. Barely warmed up and already displaced his face with my pen. When this battle's done I bet he goes on vacation again. See Also * Week 1 * Week 3 * Week 4 * Week 5 * Playoffs * Back to the Standings and Results page Category:Board 8 RAP BATTLE